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This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. Uncomfortable yet? White men: congratulations! Women of every racial background seem to strongly prefer dating you.
Asian and Latin women are most popular with the gents. Black women and Asian men are the two groups most notably at a dating disadvantage. They are the hardest singles for me to match, because they tend to be excluded from the match searches of the majority of clients. Non-starter, that. The online dating world is also stacked against black women and Asian men.
Pop culture is a window into desire. What were their roles? A similar story presents itself when we deconstruct black women in popular culture. So, when we see Asian men and black women having a harder time, part of it has to do with beauty standards and part of it has to do with the ways people are socialized to imagine how Asian men or black women behave inside and outside of relationships.
This exclusion of Asian men is a particularly visible problem in the gay community. Asian women have historically been deemed more sexual but also are viewed as being more demure and feminine. So, they become idealized due to being considered very sexual but also very feminine. Alternatively, black women are viewed as hypersexual because of things like the legacy of chattel slavery, which also suggested that black women are more masculine and animalistic than other women. In a recent feature article in the Walrus, lawyer Hadiya Roderique detailed her challenges dating as a woman of colour.
As Roderique alluded, there are incredibly complex social reasons behind racial preferences and stereotyping in dating.
Are you the product of a racist society? Undoubtedly, yes.
We all are. Sofi Papamarko is the founder of Friend of a Friend Matchmaking.
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